♥ vaingy l0ve ♥

Sunday, March 18, 2012 3:11 AM

Sentimental again

I think...out of all the times i missed being with him, i miss the times he tucked me in with his blanket & gave me a kiss while stroking my hair away from my face.

I really like the small things that guys do for me, rather than those 大费周章 kinda actions. & it was also because of one single small thing he did for me, that i fell in love with him.

Can he treasure what he have? Really feel so upset.

I still hug the huge mega bear he bought me before he went malaysia with his friends last year to sleep every night, hoping a miracle would happen to me.

Sunday, March 4, 2012 1:40 AM

Emo again

I think nights are really so emo prone for me. =(

I think i now fully understand what tinghui felt when she told me she felt hurt when she saw photos of the gang hanging out. Because i now feel the same way. :((

I woke early to go see chinese doc w marmi chew @ thomson rd, had lunch at ichiban sushi (amk hub), went ntuc, & came home to play 3 person mj w marmi chew & dad.

Dad's kinda on a very irritated & offensive mood tdy, & there were many times i had to hold in my temper cos he lashed out at me for small minor things. I think thats wat it all comes down to - Tolerating.
Marmi chew has been tolerating for many years, & on my part i have been too. All we both wanted is peace. Family peace.

& marmi chew broached the topic of how she's gonna be super depressed, sad & lonely when i start flying. To her, even though im late home sometimes, at least im home at the end of the day. But when im flying its gonna be different. I really feel worried & guilty towards her. If im not there, how will she tell me her work problems, our family problems like who ki siao again or made her upset etc. If im nt there, she'll be all alone at home irregardless of my sister because she'll lock herself in her room. & i kinda worry, how is she gonna fill her days, nights, & weekend? When im home, i watch tv with her, talk about problems with her, go out eat with her, etc etc. At least there's someone you know? I know how hard it is for her to survive in this family, how difficult for her to remain cheerful. I know about the times she almost couldnt take it anymore & could just drop into depression. If im not there to talk with her, she'd probably keep it inside her heart & grow more depressed. Im not saying im like super important, but we're like best frens & mother-daughter kinda relationship. In fact, more like sisters. I still get nagged alot & scolded sometimes, so tats a mother role. But the rest of the time is sisters talk. I advice her, she advice me. I share with her, she share with me.

But even though all these factors is weighing on my conscience, i still have to follow my dream. Not just because it's my dream. But it's also an escape for me. It's the only route i can, & must take. I want to keep myself busy, be happier. Because deep down, i still want to be back together with him.

Yes, he's selfish.
Yes, i'm silly/stupid.

But i love him. It's not a past tense - it's a continuous present tense.

I feel so conflicted. One part of me wants to be back together with him so desperately. But a bigger part of me knows tat this seperation is good, because i want to feel more loved, needed, & wanted by him. I dun wan to be taken granted for. I dun want to be 2nd place in his heart. But when will he finish enjoying playing & want to settle down? I duno, & i dun really want to go any further into thinking this. Because i know it's hard to stop wanting to enjoy urself.

So i guess for now, i'm just taking life day by day as it comes. No anticipation, no excitement. Just monotonous.

Friday, March 2, 2012 6:29 PM

ITSFINALLYBOOKED!

FINALLYYYYY~!

we had so much trouble over the flights, dates, and now hotel that i really think it's a sign for us not to go bkk.
but today finally, everything has been settled & booked!
i can finally relax abit and just worry about my finances.

yesterday, i heard some news from him that made me upset.
& he was worried i would be upset, so he tried comforting me yesterday, and even today, which kinda makes me happy.

now that we've broken up, i shouldnt be upset over his decisions or his matters, but i am.
now that we've broken up, i shouldnt care what he does, but i do.
now that we've broken up, i have no say over what he should do, but somehow i do?

i mean of cos there's alot of things that i have no say, but there are some important things that somehow i still have say over.

now that i'm single, i've been trying really hard to fill up my days.
but it's really hard to do so, and i often find myself with lots of free time.
past 3 weekends i was working part time doing surveys, & supposedly i can do data entry this weekend too, but it's pushed to next week to do over weekdays, so this weekend i'm free. sigh.

gonna meet ais this sunday to watch "This is war".
That's half a day filled up with the night empty...
Saturday is also empty...

Been sleeping really early recently like since a month ago i guess.
Sleeping around midnight, and i guess the effect shows.
my face is clearing up, although i had a few breakouts cos of my period.
my hair is much healthier now (dun really have dry ends anymore), and my nails is a healthy color - no more yellowish orangish color.
not sure if it's due to me sleeping earlier, but i think so?

okay..ending abruptly here.
ask me out on a date please.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012 11:49 AM

Happy Leap Year!

Happens once in 4 years, happy 29 Feb everyone!

"It is Leap Day today, Do you know that Leap day is a popular day for women to propose marriage? In many European countries, especially in the upper classes of society, tradition dictates that any man who refuses a woman's proposal on February 29 has to buy her 12 pairs of gloves, supposedly for her to hide the embarrassment of not having an engagement ring." - Liese from FB

Saw a cute picture shared on fb!
Taking a nervous pet to the vet. hahaha

Everyone's talking about the movie "This is War"!
I so wanna watch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gonna drag some people to the cinemas with me on Sunday liao.

Everyone's been going gaga over this video.
Zac Efron's my fav idol for hollywood!
I didn't really like Taylor Swift, but i like her looks and hair & eyes & voice. After this video, i kinda like her more. haha.

These few days been super hectic trying to change my flight for bkk.
Today i die die must book already!!!
It's easy to book online tickets, but trying to CALL them to change or what is really a pain in the ass. Can never get thru.
BUT! even though cost more, and alot obstacles, i still must go. haha.
Have to find some way to dig money out. alamak...

Wanted to change the flight dates yesterday, but i suddenly received a sms from DBS saying my card will be deactivated in 7 days and a new card will be mailed to me.
so i was kinda worried if i can still use my old card.
then mom sms me saying my new card arrived at home, together with a letter from cpf about my repayment for poly fees.
MONEY WOES!!!

Okay, putting it here to remind myself.
I need to buy 2 things!

1. Organiser
2. Polaroid Film Album

Anyways, yest met up with my uni mates very good friends Chrystal & Yiling.
We metup at Dhoby Ghaut Plaza Sing, and I was the first one there cos Chrys messaged to say she poo-pooing! LOL.
Went to withdraw money first & i saw Junyong, but he didn't look back again, so i thought maybe it's just someone with similar looks.
Turns out it's him. lol.

While waiting for the girls at Thai Express, i was seated at a table with really horrid lighting!
it was too bright (reddish/yellowish kinda lighting) & it gave me a huge headache, so i shifted to the next table.
BUT! that table stinks of rotten chicken sourish smell.
Think cos of the table cloth that they used to wipe isn't clean. Yucks.
While waiting still, i received a sudden sms from ermander asking if i wanna go fareast look for her, jac & daph now cos they impromptu meetup.
I'm kinda sad actually, because we all used to be so close and meetup so often.
But now it's like, say meetup but never happens. Only once a year.
Anyway, ermander says she'll organise one soon!
so hopefully can get to meet the girls again. ;)

Okay, the rest of the post is on pictures!

See how bad the lighting was?!

Better lighting, but stinko table. sigh. T.T

LOL! guys, bewarned.

Chrys supper happy with her food as always.

The dessert wasn't as good because the mango was too riped.

Chrys trying to take polaroid in the toilet! omg. lol

Doremi! Cos i so tall that day. haha

Ugly faces!

Using Chrys awesome PIANO BLACK polaroid!
i'm in envyyyy~!
That polaroid looks the best among all, but cost also very high. lol
The one that looks weird is because there's a function that takes 2 pic at one go with timer, but we tot is 2 sec timer. LOL
& yes, that happens to be my face. :(

The first polaroid i took together with them!
I moved last min cos very hard balance!
& it turned out blurry, but chrys like it cos it looks artistic. lol

2nd attempt looks better! Cos got timer. haha

got one of the shop assistant to help us take! i like this best.

Lastly, to end this post, Chrys took a video of me not eating the last bite of the dessert.
But i was really about to puke already, so i refuse to eat. hahahaha!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012 11:13 AM

Happiness for P

Yay!! P finally got her call yesterday!!!
i was waiting like super nervously for that call although it's not for me!
after crossing my fingers hoping for that call for her for sooooo long, it finally came!
but it's kinda sad that we aint starting training on the same day.
but it's still good to know someone who's in the same job as i am regardlessly. :)

my face is rottinggggg away~! helpppp~!
so many pimples breaking out. alamak.
i soooo need to go facial.
i hope my pay cheque comes faster.
& my pay from the part time jobs i did for the past 3 weekends.
i need money desperately!

*update pix from my first day interview that weekend*

hmm i do need pictures on my blog more.
it's just all words and no pix.
shall try to update more pics here.
meeting chrys & yiling for dinner later. ^^

*Random shots*

had this amazing grass jelly with sea coconut for lunch desserts.
it's so awesomeeee!
i finished like 2/3 of it before i rmb to take a picture here. lol.

wearing this divine high heels today.

Monday, February 27, 2012 5:33 PM

i think i've become very angst lately..

i need to be more happy and relax.

sigh. i dun like the way i become so angsty recently.
is either that, or i keep meeting shitty people.
which i tend to think is true la.
cos i wouldn't for nothing get angry de mah.

is it because i'm not happy anymore that's why i've turned this way?

but still, i shall try to contain any unhappiness inside me.
if you knew of all the angsty behavious i did, you would go woahhhhh~!
=.= not something to be proud of.

okay..from today onwards i shall try to change.

still trying to get thru to air asia.
can't even hear the ring tone lehhh.
pls pls pls let me get thru and sucessfully change my flight dates to bkk!

Thursday, February 23, 2012 10:30 AM

Hello

I can feel it.
I totally have no more mood to work anymore. lol.
I have about 3 more weeks of work after minus-ing all my leave before i start work at my dream job.

A few days ago, i received a letter from them to sign my contract, and it was until i finally mailed it out, that i felt that this is all true. I am really getting my dream job. It seems surreal, and although i know the bad sides of this job, i am still looking forward to it because it's my dream.

I hope good things happen to me, because i need them desperately.

Trying to get thru to Airasia again to make payment for change in flight dates.
I really can't wait to go bkk!
Shall start researching for what to do/shop/eat there.

Today, happens to be one of my really good friend birthday!
Dearest kailin~!
Happy happy happy birthday to youuu!
i love you so so much.
you give me the right comfort, the best friendship you could.
you cared for me, and worried for me endlessly.
i hope you get loads and loads of sweetness and success in your life! muacks!